Something hurts deep inside. Just to look civilized, I have pushed everyone I should have cared about into a deep pit of misery. It’s too late now. I can’t help them. I am too weak and fragile. In my greed, I destroyed the my people, my very own people who cared about me. I’ve been so selfish all my life, running after worldly possessions, I lost what I prize the most. I took the most important thing I had for granted. I never cared for how much they loved me, stood by me in every difficult situation. They used to cut out their own lives to make sure that I had something beautiful. I would have been nothing (as if I am anything right now, all because of all the stupid decisions that I took). I gaslighted them into wrong decisions. And if all that helped me in any way, it would have been kind of okay-ish, not saying right at all, just okay-ish. But not even that.
From now on, my posts are going to be shorter. I don’t have much to say and if I have, it’s not worth listening. I hate to say it, but my plan to live a life without regrets is in shatters. I am a man who has failed the only thing he’s held accountable for, his family. I put them in danger, in misery, in a mess they are barely able to get out of. I am really sorry to them. If there is a god, give me all their sufferings for they do not deserve it, and give them all the luck and good things that they deserve. I want them to be happy, respected and living a satisfied life.
